Roberta DeLay Smith

The only child of Robert Stewart DeLay and Agnes Caillouette DeLay, Roberta Stewart DeLay Smith was born in New Haven, Connecticut, on May 13, 1935, and promptly began her career as an ardent overachiever, presumably about a week or so later. Early childhood summers at the family cottage in Lanphiers Cove on Branford Harbor inspired a lifelong love of water and swimming that she would later share with her six children. Attending Sacred Heart Academy on an academic scholarship, she found herself nourished in mind, body, and soul as a member of the Green Street Girls, a gang of prodigies in one of the first classes of the newly founded girls’ school. To set the bar for the other wunderkind, she was art editor of the yearbook, won essay contests, and received the outstanding math student award from National Math Association before graduating, as valedictorian, no less. 

Setting the bar ever higher at Albertus Magnus College, she received an award from the American Chemistry Association, and then launched her professional education at the prestigious Johns Hopkins University School of Nursing. 

For relaxation between classes, she swam off to National Aquatic School, where she mastered the single-handed righting of a capsized war canoe and plunged into the icy waters of the Polar Bear Club. Her mastery of rifle shooting added a few more awards to the trophy shelf. This was all between duties as a water safety and lifesaving instructor, with all that spare time that whiz kid college students have. 

Having a little extra time during her senior year semester break, on December 21, 1957, she married Donald G. Smith, who would be counting his lucky stars for the next 67 years. 

In 1958, she received her nursing degree from Johns Hopkins University on an oppressively hot Baltimore day, where she drew inspiration from the commencement addresses of UK’s Prime Minister Harold Macmillan and President Dwight Eisenhower. They must have heard that Roberta was going to be graduating and didn’t want to miss it!

Roberta and Donald’s first travel adventure brought them to vacation paradise of El Paso, Texas, where Donald was an instructor in the guided missile school for NATO troops while Roberta worked at the hospital. She started working with babies in obstetrics but was ultimately drawn to the intense world of trauma nursing in the Emergency Room. Don Junior (DG), her first child, arrived, waving the Lone Star as the only official Texan in the house.

Donald’s career as a Bell Labs engineer began after his hitch in the Army. He and Roberta began a coast-to-coast odyssey with a growing family. Jeff and Brian were born in California, Marcy in New Jersey, then it was off to Virginia, where Roberta taught surgical and emergency nursing at Norfolk General. She then led the opening of a nursery at the new Virginia Beach Hospital, where she assumed the position of nursing supervisor. 

When Donald’s career progressed to Pax River Naval Air Station, they brought their four children to Maryland, where Roberta was recruited as a teacher. After courses and certification at St Mary’s College, she taught middle school math for two years. She introduced her kids to swimming, catching blue crabs, and all the joys of jellyfish on the shore of the Potomac River. 

In 1969, Donald brought the family to Winston-Salem for a temporary assignment. The 2 years stretched into 55, the Smith family put down roots and the Connecticut Yankees became official North Carolinians. Roberta attended Wake Forest University for more math courses and returned to nursing after the birth of Chris and Nikki, the first Smith children to be born and raised in the same state. 

Once the children were grown and flown, Roberta found satisfying rewards in retirement for the next 17 years as a volunteer at Best Health 55 Health and Wellness Clinic and for Novant Health’s Retirees project. 

A longtime member of St. Teresa’s Guild at St. Leo the Great Catholic Church, she made many lifelong friends, even serving a term as co-president. All six children had attended St Leo’s, and the Smiths were fixtures at the parish for over half a century. Roberta raised her children to be high achievers as well, each an accomplished professional in their field. 

Wherever Roberta lived, she found a patch of soil to till into a garden, and over the decades, she cultivated truckloads of tomatoes, peppers, zucchini, blueberries, and more. Her children were educated in the art of digging, tilling, and pulling weeds in the blazing sun, and some of them eventually began to appreciate gardening despite that. She shared her horticultural expertise and love of gardening with other youngsters by volunteering with Wake Forest University’s Garden education project at Reynolda Gardens. Her gardening supplies will till new soil at Durham Hub Farm, an educational farm for public school students in Durham, N.C. 

Before the pandemic shuttered her ability to work in groups, she was an active, longtime member of the Tuesday Quilters at Sewingly Yours in Lewisville. Despite rumors to the contrary, this is not a drinking club with a sewing problem, but they did always have a good time. In a world where the inveterate perfectionist can find the ultimate challenge, Roberta’s precision piecing and nearly invisible hand-stitching frequently garnered her top honors at the Dixie Classic Fair and quilt shows. Even the most experienced quilters marvel at the incredible attention to detail and standard of excellence that became her trademark.

Even the best of things must come to an end, but Roberta’s legacy lives on in so many that knew her. She was preceded in death by her parents and by her youngest daughter, Nicole Alexandra Smith. She is survived by her husband of nearly 67 years, Donald Gordon Smith, and her children Donald G. Smith Jr. (Jan Zaremba), Jeffrey Scott Smith (Kimberly), Brian Smith, Marcelle Smith (Joe Miller), Christopher Smith (Kerri), and grandchildren Alex, Stephanie, Sara, Anna, Keira, Heidi, Chris, Ben, Kate, Duncan, and Emma. 

A funeral Mass will be held at 11:00 am, Thursday, December 19, 2024, at St. Leo the Great Catholic Church. Visitation will be 3:00-5:00pm Wednesday, December 18, 2024, at Hayworth-Miller Silas Creek Chapel.